Just A Hat in Time
by FreePi
Summary: Hat Kid has to sneak around Dead Bird Studio to find a time piece. But a series of mistakes puts Hat Kid in an embarrassing situation. What could go wrong?


So there Hat kid was, in Dead Bird Studio. She got passed John Tron, ur, I mean the receptionist. She was about to sneak around in the dark, trying not to be seen by all the owls and pinguins . I can't spell penguins. She needed those time pieces.

"This shouldn't be too difficult!" She thought to herself.

But first she needed to get out of the air vent. She readied herself to jump out. But as she was just about to jump, she accidently tripped over her feet. Her shoes didn't appreciate that. So they both got off of her feet as she was falling in mid air. The shoes hit the floor and bounced off the ledge and down into the pit of darkness. Hat kid smashed her face into the floor from the fall. She heard a cracking noise from her nose upon impact. Her nose hurt like heck. She bit her lip and put her hands on her nose. Her eyes started to water. It took all of her self-control not to scream. Poor Hat kid.

After about five agonizing minutes, the sharp pain turned into a dull soreness. She was ready to continue. She looked around for her shoes, but couldn't find them. "Ah, shoot! They must have fallen down the pit. At least I still have my socks." Hat kid whispered as she wiggled her tiny toes.

Hat Kid snuck passed a pingwing and DJ Grooves, who was currently directing a movie, and arrived at a switch on a movable platform. She got out her umbrella and whacked the lever. The platform she was on began to move. It carried the little girl over to the next area where that racist conductor was directing his own movie.

Once the platform stopped, Hat Girl took a step to get off the movable platform, when she felt a tug at her neck. She made a choking noise and fell to the floor. It was then that she realized that her cape was caught in the gears (for breakfast TM) of the lever used to move the platform. She got up on her two feet and pulled at her yellow cape. She pulled and pulled, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get it out. She had no choice but to remove her cape. She unbuttoned her cape, and let it fall to the floor. She walked off the platform and hopped down to a huge pipe below the movie set where the conductor was directing. As she tiptoed passed the conductor, she could hear him say "Come on! Bring a better performance than those dark feathered Nigwings at least." Kid girl covered her mouth and widened her eyes from shock.

From the pipe to a higher platform the little child jumped. At the right moment, she carefully zoomed past an owl who was constantly looking back and forth like a total paranoid spaz. Her next obstacle was a flat wooden cactus. Ever since that one time she was on that desert island, and accidently sat on a cactus, she hated cacti of all kinds with a passion. With all her might she punched that wooden cactus to the ground. And there it was. That creepy floating fine that just appeared out of nowhere. "Assault on cactus. -1,500 pongs" it read. She was just as freaked out as when she first saw the fine.

Without hesitation, Hat Kid made a dash to the nearest place to hide. She found some clothing racks, and quickly hid behind them. Peeking out to see if there were any birds or floating fines, she found that the coast was clear. But before she could get a move on, a voice from behind her said, "Oh here's one I missed." A bird from behind yanked off Hat Kid's shirt and hung it up on one of the clothing racks. Thankfully, the bird didn't notice her, because he was stupid. Hat Kid only had an undershirt covering up her underdeveloped chest. She darted from the clothing racks to another switch nearby before anyone could see her.

After whacking the lever with her umbrella, a platform ahead of her started to move. She knew she had to catch a ride on another movable platform. But she had to time it right, as there was another owl between her and the moving platform looking back and forth.

Ready? Go! Hat Girl started to move, but tripped and fell to the floor. Oh, no! Not again! Another article of clothing of hers was caught in the gears (for breakfast TM) of the lever. This time... it was her pants! "Oh, SHOOT!" Hat Kid whispered. She got up and looked at her pants, and then the moving platform that was getting closer. She HAD to reach that platform in time. She started to panic. She franticly was pulling on her pants to get it to be unstuck. But like the cape, it wouldn't budge. The platform was moving even closer. She fiddled around with the lever, but it was no use. Her pants just wouldn't budge. The platform was passing the owl up ahead. It was now or never. She had no other option. She had to take off her pants! She took a deep breath, dropped her trousers, quickly ran past the owl and did the biggest leap of her life, and just barely caught the ledge of the moving platform. She climbed up onto the platform. The platform stopped, and she stepped onto the floor where the platform took her to. Hat Kid looked down to see that she was wearing nothing but her socks, undershirt, and underpants. She blushed. Now she REALLY couldn't be caught!

The next few sections involved sneaking past more pingwins, who, for some reason, could only see a few meters in front of them; hopping on sand bags; and, strangely enough, sneaking past DJ Grooves and the Conductor again, who both apparently have teleportation powers. And she did it all in her underwear! It felt so weird to her.

The movie set that the Conductor was on had lots of arrows flying everywhere. But two arrows in particular had a foot fetish. So they homed in on Hat Kid's feet and took off both her socks, one sock for each arrow. After the arrows gave Hat Kid's feet a massage, they flew off with her socks. Jerks.

Hat Kid felt the cold floor underneath her bare feet, and the cool air around them. She wiggled her toes. It felt kind of good to let her feet breathe.

She jumped and landed on a lower platform. The pain of the hard land on her feet was nowhere near as bad as it was when she cracked her nose, which was still sore by the way. And what do ya know! It was yet another lever! Well, she wouldn't be making the same mistake as she did twice before! She whacked the lever, keeping her eyes on the few articles of clothing she had left. Thankfully, her undies didn't get caught in those tasty gears. Nope! Instead, her umbrella got caught. "I give up." She said. She didn't even bother trying to get it out this time. She just flew past the nearby owl and jumped on to the moving platform. A few moments later the owl noticed the umbrella stuck in the gears. "Oh hey! An umbrella!" He pulled it out with ease. "I could use this." The owl flew away like Marry Poppins.

Meanwhile, Hat Girl climbed over these huge speakers and saw three PeNgUiNs (Cool. I spelleded it rite this time) standing behind a large fence. "How can I sneak past them?" She thought. Then she noticed a fuse box that was causing a bunch of sparks to fly. She flipped the switch in the fuse box, and the power went out. The penguins couldn't see anything. She quickly ran past the penguins and found herself on the other side of the fence. The power turned back on. Now she had to get past a set of cameras that were right behind the penguins. Good thing there was another fuse box. Bad thing that it was producing more sparks, because when she flipped its switch, one of the sparks landed on her undershirt, catching it on fire. When she realized what had happened, she screamed and yelled and ran around like an idiot. "STOP, DROP AND ROLL! STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!" She repeated to herself as she stopped, dropped, and rolled. The fire was put out, much to Hat Kid's relief. But her undershirt was so badly burnt that it fell apart and dropped to the ground. The only thing keeping her from being naked was her underwear (and her hat. But that shouldn't count).

Now, you might be thinking that all that commotion that Hat Girl caused would get the attention of the Pigwings. But you have to remember, video game enemies are fuckin' stupid.

So, anyway, Hat Kid managed to evade the detection of the cameras when she ran past them while her shirt was on fire. That makes no sense, I know. After that, to her dismay, she found yet another movable platform with a lever. "Oh, no..." She put her hands on the handle of the lever. She gulped. She intensely stared at her undies, making sure they wouldn't get stuck in the gears. With one swift thrust of her arms, the lever was pushed. Her underwear was safe.

Safe between two gears. Hat Kid had a look of utter horror. The platform the little girl was on was slowly moving. Beyond her were two rooms with glass walls, where the conduckter and DJ Grooves, or maybe their clones, each were shooting their own movie. The nearly naked girl was in full panic mode. She had to evade the birds' gazes. But that would be impossible with her underwear stuck in the gears. She desperately pulled at the last piece of clothing she had, "Come on.. Come on!" But it was no use. She couldn't free her underpants. The platform was only a few meters away from the sights of the pigwinks and owls. Hat Kid was sweating profusely. Her heart was pounding hard. She wore a look of pure dread. The anxiety was too much for her. Her eyes watered. She wanted to cry. She was only a couple of centimeters out of the view of an owl actor. At the very last moment, she leaped out of her undergarments and jumped over the owl's line of sight. Bird actor after bird actor was evaded. She made it past the two rooms. The platform finally stopped.

Hat kid let out a sigh of relief. She looked down at herself. She was completely naked. Her whole face went red. There was no way she was going to get that time piece like this. She grabbed her underwear and gave it several yanks. The last yank she gave was one of the hardest yanks in her life, as it ripped her underwear in two pieces. She fell over with half of her undies in one of her hands, "Oof!" While still on her back she held what was left of her only means of coverage near to her face. Her quivering mouth and tear filled eyes said it all. She felt defeated. She placed the half underwear on the ground. All she could do was walk slowly towards a wooden teepeepee, go in a fetal position, rock back and forth, and sob. This was a low point in her life. All she wanted to do was to go home. But there she was, stranded on a planet, looking for time pieces in a movie studio, totally nude. It sucked. And the worst part is, the clothes she once wore, was her only attire for her trip home. She either had to find new clothes, or find all the time pieces and return home wearing nothing but her hat.

Her rocking back and forth became more EXTREME! She ended up creating a distortion in spacetime, which caused the tea P behind her to fall down. And she fell down too and landed on her back right on the Toilet Paper. That is, the T. P. This fall was a fall of inspiration. "NO!" she thought to herself, "This is NOT the end! I'll figure out a way! I'll figure out a way to get that time piece without being seen, and then find new clothing for myself!"

The naked little girl hopped to her two feet, and with stylistic stealth, avoided being seen by the next set of pingpongs and owls. There was a fair amount of jumping, climbing, and running. And the fact that Hat Kid had to do it all naked... feeling the cool air whoosh around her... shameful areas, it felt uncomfortable, awkward, and weird, as is evident by the fact that she was covering up her butt and uh-oh part with her hands when ever she wasn't climbing or jumping. But Hat Girl was filled with DETERMINATION nonetheless. All that was left was DJ Grooves himself dancing nonstop in front of an encased time fuck. Sorry. I mistyped it. Time PIECE.

How was she ever going to get the time piece without that bird seeing her? There was only one path to the time piece, and DJ Grooves was right there in the way. She tried to wait to see if he'd stop dancing like a moron and leave. But minuets turned to ours, and ours turned into hours. Hours turned into ours again. Then it turned into days, and Hat Kid died of dehydration. THE END.

PSYCH! Did I gotchy? Admit it, I gotchya! No, what really happened is she recycled her own piss to stay alive. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gotchya again! She doesn't piss, fart, or poo. She has no urethra or anus, because anuses and urethras are FUCKIN' disgusting. Her body doesn't produce any wastes, because it's more efficient than ours. And anything that's bad in the blood stream is destroyed in her kidneys where her nuclear reactors are. She has no large intestines. Isn't that all cool and shit?

Okay. Back to the story. Hours have passed. The stupid Elvis wannabe wouldn't leave. There were bags under Hat Kid's eyes. She couldn't take it anymore. So she mustered up every ounce of courage she had in her and walked out into the open along the path to the time fuck.

"Well that's enough dancing in this room for today. Time to go dance in the bathroom and-" DJ Grooves couldn't believe his eyes. It was a human. A little girl to be precise. And she was naked, shyly covering herself with her huge hat. DJ Grooves' face morphed into George Takei's face. "Oh, MY!" His face then turned back to normal. "What is that I see? Is it true inner beauty? An innocent soul with a heart of gold?" Commence close up of Hat Kid's adorable face. "Oh, no. It's just a little girl." Hat Kid's face has never been so red in her life. She quickly looked down to see if the hat was covering up her special area enough.

"HAhahahaha! Don't worry! I didn't see anything. Don't take life so seriously. Besides, all of my penguins don't wear any pants. I see there genitals all the time. So it's no big deal if I see a naked human every now and then." DJ Grooves' expression changed. "Oh that's right. You're human. You aren't actually allowed here." Hat Kid looked worried. Then DJ Grooves' expression reverted back, "But I'll make an exception for you darling. I could use some non-penguin actors, as all my penguins suck at their jobs."

Hat Kid was confused. "Actor?"

"Of course! You see, I'm on a losing streak, so I could use your help. I HAVE to win this next annual bird movie award. You'll be a star darling! Sounds great, right?"

"Look. I just came here to get my time pieces back. And do you have any clothes that I could-"

Just then, it returned. The floating fine of doom, above both Hat Kid and DJ Grooves.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of this." DJ Grooves unleashed the power of his heat vision and blew up the evil fine.

Hat Girl moved her hand across her forehead. "Phew!"

DJ Grooves went behind a camera. "Now stand over there Darling. We need to give you a bird passport. Make sure to look your best for your picture!"

"Picture? What?! But I'm naked! Can I have some clothes first?"

"There's no time! Now look at the camera!"

Hat Kid reluctantly moved in front of the camera.

"Ahem..." DJ Grooves said, as if he were expecting something of her.

"What?"

"The hat, dear. Put on your hat. You have to look professional about this."

"But I need my hat to..."

"Just do it. You have to be able to overcome your shyness if you wan to make it in this biz."

Hat Kid slowly lifted her hat. DJ Grooves readied the camera. The hat was finally on the young girl's head.

He took the picture. Hat Girl couldn't believe what just happened. She had never been so embarrassed and ashamed in her life.

"Here you go dear." The dancing penguine handed the child her bird passport. Hat kid took a look at it. The picture featured her looking down at her lower half, blushing and wide eyed, with small pupils. Thankfully, the picture of her was just from her shoulders up.

"Wonderful! Absolutely stunning! Meet me at the movie set tomorrow, and we'll make you a star!" DJ Grooves said as he walked away.

"WAIT! I need some clothes here!" the little girl called out. But the dancing nigwing had already left.

"HEY! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE LIL MISSY" The Conductor was hiding in the giant trophy that was in front of Hat Kid the whole time!

He busted out of the trophy! "I heard everything! DJ Grooves really does think that he can make you a star and win the annual bird movie awards! HA! No one can make stars like I can!"

The Conductor pointed at Hat Girl, who was covering herself with her hands. "You're going to be the star of MY movies! That'll show that Penguin! Here, hold our newest prop, practice showing it off, and bring it to my movie set tomorrow! Yer got that?"

The Conductor took out a dildo. The little child's eyes were showing expressions of confusion and shock.

"Whoops! Heehee. Wrong prop." The Conductor put away the dildo, and brought out a time piece! Yay! "Don't be late!"

Hat Kid's face beamed! She happily grabbed it and did her usual cute twirl in the air... only naked, lul.

Then she realized that the conductor could see her girl part. She quickly covered it up with the time piece and blushed.

The Conductor rolled his nonexistent eyes. "Uhg! I'll go get yer some clothes."

END!  



End file.
